my boss at oxley's is pretty hilarious. let me share a few highlights from his last e-mail:
"Hey all. Weren't those cream filled donuts yummy? I ate three.
...
Everyone needs to have a hat/visor on when we're at work. Lets keep up with our hats folks. If you lose your hat we do have some hair nets. They are very fashion forward hairnets direct from Paris.
...
lets leave the caramel sauce in the bottles that it comes in from the store. Why should we hassle with emptying sauce out of a perfectly good bottle into a somewhat crappy and ancient one? Whos idea was this?"

ok those might require actually knowing him to understand why they're funny. but also recently he implied that by being hard-working at oxley's we are really fighting against terrorism, then sang god bless america and tried to get us to join in (don't worry, he was not being sincere). he wears a chef jacket and checkered blousy pants every day. he rides a motorcycle to work. he discusses snowboarding with this freshman guy all the time. he is basically my idol.

there are several groups of asian guys who are frequent customers at oxley's. there are two things about them i love. 1) one of them always buys the coffee for the others. i think it's nice, and not like the typical "oh i'm a man, i buy for myself." 2) when asked what size coffees, they always say "tall size." never just "tall" or "small." i think it's cute, for some reason. anyway i saw one of them on the street the other day and he was carrying a coffee cup which was clearly not from oxley's and i felt like he was cheating on me. WHY IS HE DOING THIS? AM I NOT SATISFYING HIM? nooooooo

today i saw the most accurate ass banner ever. by ass banner i mean things written on the ass of sweatpants. this girl's said "NASTY" and it was right about where the asshole would be. finally, some honesty in this treacherous world.

oh man. so there is this guy i made out with once last quarter. let's call him c, because i'm now paranoid that everyone will find out what i say about them in here. anyway after that first incident he never called me, right? then i saw him at larry's a few weeks ago when i was pretty toasted, and we talked a little and he was like "i was too scared to call you" to which i drunkenly but pretty bluntly answered "i think if you really wanted to call me you would have by now." then as i was leaving he was like "wish me luck getting the courage to call you" and i was like yeah right. but then a week later he did call me to have lunch at his place but i had just eaten and was going somewhere else. so then today he called again and wants to have dinner next wednesday at his apartment. and now this is just an awkward situation because i don't know how to tell him that i already have a boyfriend and kind of just want to say that he's too late and he should have fucking called earlier, idiot.

anyway. i got an A on my gender class midterm, which i'm glad about because i really like that professor and class. she's my intellectual idol whereas rick is my quirky idol.